The Acqua Conspiracy
by California Gruesome
Summary: Tuesday has randomly gone missing, yet her family refuses to file a missing persons report. That sounds little iffy to the greatest detective South Park has ever known.


She was distraught.

She, referring to Clara, the dainty brunette that was sitting cross-legged, head bent, nose firmly in book. He could tell. He, as in Basil, pronounced as a Bahhh-zil, who was at his desk. Everything around him suggested he was bored. He glanced at her, once. For an approximate 9.7 seconds. It was nothing different of her reading a book. Gone With The Wind, for her probable fourth time. What he noticed, however, was what gave it away.

Note, her posture. Slouched, not in the lazy way but the way you would slouch if depression just suddenly washed over your shoulders. Her fingers were gripped around the book, her nails looked as if they've been bitten. Her eyes were tense with worry and the green of them was slowly turning dim. She blinked every 8.3 seconds. Usually, when she wasn't this word, distraught, if you may, she'd blink every 7.2 seconds. Her head was bent in a way that read sorrowful. Like Atlas, bent because of the weight on her shoulders. Something had happened to someone; recently. This wasn't a memory; if it was he'd already know about it and she wouldn't be slouched, her posture would be upright.

So what had happened?

Of course he could ask, but that would be expected. Ew, expectations. How boring.

But how else was he supposed to know? Give it time, perhaps. The Clara girl wasn't fond of keeping secrets from him. She was just as open as her favorite item; books. And Basil was an excellent reader. So, he would wait.

He flipped through all the greek symbols he had memorized so long ago once again, waiting for Clara to express whatever it is she needed to express.

"Tuesday has gone missing."

Ah, so that was it. A friend of hers had suddenly disappeared. Finally, something to do around this town that didn't have anything to do celebrities and their stupid antics that could be solved in nothing less than ten minutes. Perhaps this could be a challenge. He was bored, of that he could not deny. Sociopaths do need something to do or else, they'll make something themselves.

"Oh really." Meredith has gone missing, she says? That was the one with the boy. Noah, he believed his name. The only reason he actually cared to remember the boys name was because his middle name was, in fact, Basil. He didn't know why the child was named after him, they bore no relation whatsoever and Basil would laugh if someone referred to the Orange-haired girl as his friend. He came to the conclusion that it was because she was young, and children who have children always have ridiculous names. Not that his name is ridiculous, it just has no purpose. "How long."

"About two days. Usually if she went anywhere, she would bring Kenny with her." Clara replied, setting the book aside and twirling her hair around her fingers. She openly suggests that she's worried. Of course, Meredith would bring her husband with her. They were attached at the hip. So this was unlike her. She did constantly talk too much and flaunt herself vigorously until she became a mother at seventeen; then suddenly her persona flipped to a more serious manner. Mothers intuition kicked in immediately for her. Not uncommon. She realized that a baby was no play thing, nothing she could just set aside for later.

"Where was she last seen."

"The Acqua Manner. With Noah and Kenny."

Odd. Meredith and Kenny do not visit the manner as much anymore. It wasn't out of character for the girl to want to visit her parents, but it was strange of her to bring her family with her. Basil leaned forward and rested his pale chin on his equally pale hand. Last she was seen was with her parents.

"I don't know why I'm worried. Tuesday always leaves and comes back randomly."

"Yes. But what's throwing everyone off is why she left this time without telling the whole world why she's leaving and where she'll be going and, of course, how long. Gather your things, Clara." He stood up and grabbed his coat in a whirl and dashed out the door before Clara could stand up. This was normal behavior for him, so she did not ask him to wait for her, she simply followed.

* * *

><p>"Hello, Rixon. Sorry to just drop in on you like this, but, can we come in?" Clara asked him. The butler, Rixon Delfino, in either his late fifties or early sixties, nodded solemnly to her, and opened the door. She stepped into the manner of seven floors about twenty-four rooms. They were in the first living room. A white carpet laid proudly on the floor,leading the way to a red couch with the name ''Acqua'' embroidered on the cushions. Other red chairs circled around a cherry-wood coffee table and television. Clara sat on the chair while Basil stood, taking in his surroundings. He noted the bible laying on the coffee table an ornament on the back of the door reading "God Bless This Home"<p>

"Where are Mr and Mrs Acqua?" Clara asked. Rixon blinked.

"Signora Acqua is upstairs with Sadie and Signore Noah. She's very upset about the whole situation.." Rixon sighed, shaking his head in sadness. Clara reached for his hand and squeezed it, a common sign of affection, remorse and sympathy. He squeezed her hand back and shook it, once, something only a gentleman would do. Basil was bust studying their exchange. He noted how many times Rixon blinked during the telling of this information. About three times. He was blinking back tears in order to keep his dignity; which suggested that he had no idea what had happened to Tuesday. He rubbed his worry lines back and forth in a circular motion as Basil began to ascend the steps, Clara behind him.

"It would have been predotable and a shame if the butler had kidnapped Tuesday, don't you think?" Basil remarked nonchalantly, looking around the walls next to the glass stairs they were walking on. Clara frowned.

"Rixon would never do such a thing. He loves Tuesday like his own daughter." She said this with confidence. No hint of regret or questoning in her voice. In this voice he trusted her, so he did not bring it up again. Of course, if Rixon had been responsible, it would have been terribly boring. Those horror movies where the staff randomly murders the family they've lived with for years are just so unreasonable.

Basil opened the red door to the second living room when the stairs ended, and came across Sadie sitting on the blue carpet. She smiled at him when she saw him, neglecting the red nail polish she was painting on her left foot. The red from the polish looked almost as bright as the red in her hair. She was careful to get up and almost stumbled on the vase that was near to her, but brushed it off clearly like it never happened. She grinned

"Oh my god Basil. You're so sexy. Why aren't we fuckin'?" She wiggled her eyebrows at him in a seductive way, making him the slightest uncomfortable. Clara flushed with embarrassment.

"No but really. My man is sexy. CLAREBEAR, YOU HO! HAS HE SHOVED HIS COCK IN YOU YET?" She embraced Clara in a back-breaking hug as she burst into a fir of laughter. Clara sighed and hugged back her green-eyed friend. She was used to Sadie calling her names now that she knew she didn't mean them, and everyone knew how much she was in love with Cartman. But it still bothered her the way she openly talked about her relationship with Basil without a hint of embarrassment.

"Honestly Sadie, must you always talk about..that?" Clara stared at every direction in the room but at Sadie or Basil, while he glared at Sadie angrily.

"Expect drugs in your drink. At least I warned you this time." He sneered at her. Sadie laughed at him, even though she knew she wouldn't be drinking anything that day. She placed her hand in her shorts and shrugged.

"Mannn, Tuesday would agree with me. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, TUESD-" Her face fell when she realized she would receive no answer, and suddenly the atmosphere changed. She bit her lip and tried to shrug it off.

"Um, what's up bitches?"

"We're here to see Signora Acqua. I need to ask her some questions about the incident." Basil sighed. Why else would he be here? Honestly the IQ of these people must be incredibly low.

"Well, she's in the jacuzzi soaking her feat with Noah. She's really upset about this" Sadie frowned, gesturing to the white animal print door that lead to the spa where they were. Basil was about to open the door, when Sadie spoke up again.

"Seriously, Basil. Please be nice about this. She's hurt, and she really cares about Tuesday." Sadie said seriously, before almost tripping over her own feet again. Basil rolled his eyes.

"Caring about people won't bring them back." He opened the door and wisked in, while Clara turned around and mouthed to her friend and apology. Sadie shrugged and returned to her nail painting, idly listening to the television behind her.

* * *

><p>"Noaahhh!" A voice cooed from a distance. The way it was pronounced was purely Italian, "No-aye", instead of the "ah." They couldn't see the person speaking, but they knew they were in there.<p>

"Si nonna?" A little voice replied, obviously tired. Clara's face lite up, she recognized the voice.

"Come now, poco amata, just because your madre is gone for a while does not mean you get to skip your dance lessons, va bene?" The woman's voice asked the little voice. The little voice sighed.

"Premere play per la nonna, si?" The woman's voice asked. Music started to play as Basil and Clara bent the corner to see Lucrezia, in a knee-length, red salsa skirt and a white tank top with a sash around her waist. The little blonde boy that was standing next to her, who was Noah, of course, was waiting patiently for the music to play. He was in red pants and a loose black shirt, and stood still next to his grandmother.

_**"When you gonna stop breaking my heart?"**_

When the music began, both of them raised their right hands and placed them about an inch in front of their forehead, bending slightly at the waist.

**_"I don't wanna be another one"_**

Their left hands raised just as slowly to meet their rights, and when the accordian played, both their hands came down to their chest then too their waists and back again, and they kept repeating until their hands were back up to their foreheads. They turned around slowly and saw Basil and Clara, which startled them, but they did not break character. Well, not until Noah realized who he was dancing in front of. They both stopped after the third hand twirl. Noah stopped the music.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. But that was beautiful, Signora Acqua!" Clara gushed. "Aw Noah, I didn't know you could dance, love!"

"D-Dancing is boring. It was just an experiment." He stiffened and straightened his shirt. Lucrezia sighed and sat at the edge of the tub and removed her heels. Basil quirked his eyebrow at Noah's remark.

"Signora Lucrezia, do you have a moment?" Clara asked, taking a seat next to her. She sighed.

"If this is about my Martedì, I really wish not to speak about it right now." She bite her lip and straightened her posture. Basil noted her every move. Clara nodded and reached for her hands. She pulled them away quickly.

"Where is Signore Acqua? Is he on another business trip?" Signora Acqua's eyes shifted from object to object.

"Well, yes. You could say that." She stood up and began toying with her hands. Noah's eyebrow quirked.

"But Nonna, you said Nonno was looking for mamma" He frowned, confusion falling over his slightly freckled face. It baffled Clara how much he looked like Kenny.

"Noah, I believe it's time for lunch." Noah frowned again.

"Lunch is so boring. And predic-predic-preditibleh. It's that word. Must you be so native, nonna?"

"The correct word is naive, poco amata." Lucrezia corrected him, and he turned a blazed red. She picked him up and carried him out of the bathroom quickly.

"Well, that was odd. Even for her." Basil said, taking Lucrezia's seat at the edge of the bathtub. Clara blinked.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Either she doesn't know where her husband is or she's covering for him. Tell me, Clara, if our daughter were missing, wouldn't you do everything you can to make sure she was found?" Basil asked her and then immediately realized what he said.

"O-Our daughter?" Clara's cheek flushed a deep pink. He cleared his throat.

"Certainly not, it was a slip of the tongue. A relapse of the mind, if you would. I meant your daughter." He adjusted his jacket by pulling on the collar. Clara played with her thumbs.

"Well yes, of course. I'd do anything to find my little Serena."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I've already named my children. Haven't you?"

"Children aren't a necessity therefore I have not named anything." Basil replied, rolling his eyes at Clara's predictability.

"Well, I've already planned my future." She tilted her head up a bit and smiled, tugging on her navy blue blazer.

"Ugh, you're so dull, Clara." He looked at her and she nodded, completely used to being called that by now.

"And you're amazing brilliant you, sir Basil Brett, sir!" She giggled as he smiled at her.

"YOU IDIOT! WHO TEACHES A FIVE YEAR OLD HOW TO SMOKE?" Clara jumped and Basil got up and headed for the door that lead to where Sadie was, obviously, making all the noise.

"I do! He's my nephew and, hahaaaa, he'll need to learn it! What if he gets jumped in an alley? He could just hand him this joint and be on his way!" Nicholas Acqua, Tuesday's brother, replied. He was obviously stoned out of his mind and the bloodshot eyes said it all. "Why you mad? You mad red head? Hahha oh my god your hair is like ffirreee. Can I tocuh it? Is i flammable? FLAMEEESSSS! FLAME ON!"

He was absolutely ridiculous.

Noah was laughing at his uncles antics, probably used to it by now. The poor child. Sadie was clinging to him, holding him like he were her own son and sheilding him away from his uncle.

"Oh my god Sades, chill out." Nicholas attempted to reach for the boy again. Sadie ducked. "I'm not gonna show him how to roll up blunts. Okay?"

Sadie stopped in her tracks. "You won't?"

"Seriously I won't."

Sadie smiled and handed the boy to his uncle and slung her arm over Clara. Noah smirked at her.

"Buttttttt I will show him how to shoot a gun! OUTTA MY WAY BITCH OUTTA MY WAY!"

"NICHOLAS TUESDAY ACQUA GET BACK HERE YOU WORTHLESS FOOL!" Lucrezia shouted after her son, her and Sadie taking off after him. Noah was delighted, laughing on his uncles back while being chased by his godmother and grandmother. To him, this was all a game. Clara was about to help them, when Basil pulled her arm.

"No no, what are you doing? Now is the time to search." He searched through the cabinets and drawers as Clara stood at him wide eyed.

"What are you doing?"

"Her mother obviously knows where she is and why she's gone. Did you not see the expression on her face when we asked where he husband is? She was biting her lip and refused eye contact by all means. Even the child is smarter than you people, have you no common sense?" Basil frowned when he came up with nothing. Clara refused to search through the house.

"Perhaps nothing up here. In another area, this house is quite large." he began to bolt for the door when Rixon came inside.

"Good evening." He bowed politely. Basil grunted, frustrated. "Would you care to join Signora Acqua for lunch?"

"Yes."

"No."

Clara and Basil stared at each other. Basil wanted to stay so he could question her more, Clara felt embarrassed because she was snooping through another woman's house. She respected Signora Acqua with every fiber of her being and to just go through her belongings like this, like she was some sort of criminal? Noth the mother of her best friend.

"We'll be leaving now. Goodbye Rixon." Clara left the house in a rush with Basil sauntering behind Clara. nice they were a good block or two away from the house, Basil snapped.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"You went to far, Basil. I- You can't just go through Tuesday's house like that!"

"I've done it before, what's so different now?"

"It's Signora Acqua! She'd never do anything to hurt Tuesday!" Clara shouted.

"Well, fine. Apparently, you don't want to find your friend as badly as I thought you did." He huffed impatiently and began walking faster. Clara started running to keep up with him.

"Basil?"

"What is it, Clara?"

"I'm sorry.''

He stopped walking.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I'm too pushy, I should have let you do what you do best. Who am I to tell you what and what not to do?" She hung her head down as she said this, and suddenly Basil felt..no, not sadness, but something of the sort.

"Don't be upset, Clara. I still have leads. Tuesday is obviously still in the country."

Clara's head snapped up.

"What made you think she was out of the country in the first place?"

Basil took out the several pieces of paper he had taken from the Acqua manner.

"They have many, many passports. All different names. The Acquas travel a lot, she could have been shipped anywhere. But she's obviously in the country because if she wasn't, Signora Acqua qould have called the police. No, of course she hasn't called the police yet, because she knows who did it. They want something from her that she clearly does not want to give or has no right to. It's not money, it could never be money that's ridiculous. But what? They don't want the boy, do they? If that was the case he would have easier to kidnap than a twenty one year old woman..."

Basil paused in the middle of his rant and continued to think.

"My gosh, I'll never get used to that." Clara sighed, dreamily. He smirked.

"Come now, Clara. There's still some work to do."


End file.
